Pain will always be a precursor to change. I don't make the rules, I studied not only my experiences but also others. The totality of the human spectrum is one to behold and we yield immense power through the gift of our emotions. Laughter to the verge of tears and sometimes we are sad to the point of laughter. It's often paradoxical to observe how an emotion on one end of the spectrum can evoke a reaction that is fully expected on the opposite end of the spectrum. This shows the dynamic relationship and the interconnectedness of our emotional experiences.
One thing that I have struggled to come to grips with is the vilification of the “darker emotions” such as pain, anger, and sadness. We are often told from a younger age to run away from such emotional states. If a moment evokes these “darker emotions,” we are advised to turn on our emotional switches to one of happiness and joy and if we fail to do so, there is something inherently wrong with us. Apathy is considered a virtue compared to anger or pain. I do appreciate all these sentiments and get that it all comes from a place of love but what they are is simply noncommittal advice that avoids the issue at hand which is how to deal with these emotional states.
Life's greatest lessons come from living life on the edges. Joy or sadness. Excitement or boredom. Just look at your life and this will all ring true, all moments of significance have been clouded with strong emotion on both ends of the spectrum. The warrior commits and re-commits himself to death every day and by doing so, can go about life grounded in every moment with unbridled focus. Most of us live lives of quiet desperation. We try to be in control of everything, even things outside our control. We want riches but it all comes with risk. We want love but it equally comes with the possibility of heartbreak. We want the good but our hearts can’t fully embrace the possibility of the bad that may come with it. Life is not a simulation with preordained outcomes, it is a blank canvas that can only be painted through great emotion.
Having laid the groundwork, let's talk about pain. We've all felt it in one form or another. The pain of inaction- of knowing you could've done more. The pain of unrequited love. The pain of heartbreak. What'd you do? Did you numb it? Did you cope by failing to acknowledge its existence? Did you wallow and give in to the feeling? We are never told that pain is an efficient energy source only if you use it. Don't create a false sense of joy but, rather, acknowledge and feel the pain. The pain returns man to a state of action (or inaction). Inaction eats at our mental state and leaves us far worse. But action rather sets one in a manic state of raw execution. The heart grows a little colder to protect itself but concurrently attunes itself to new frequencies and is ready for "new programming".
You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.
James Baldwin
In math class, we learned about inflection points. These are simply points where a curve’s trajectory changes. Life presents us with such moments but none are more potent than pain. It is often a blessing in disguise because as you lick your wounds, you have an opportunity to write new and better code into your system. No state of extreme happiness will give you such a gift, only pain, and the other "darker emotions".
There is a catch though. There is an expiration date- a day when the milk will turn sour. Life having given you this blessing in disguise, takes it back and leaves you with a void, a far greater burden on our hearts than the initial pain. To fill this void, we must imprint our vulnerable hearts with culture by cultivating in ourselves aesthetic traditions of the highest caliber and taste. It means dressing dapper, seeking out novelty, loving nature, self-expression, loving and fulfilling relationships, forging a greater mindset towards life, and embodying art. It ultimately means taking responsibility for your soul.
These darker emotions, when treated with care and respect, offer the potential for quantum leaps in personal growth. They can improve us, but they are also extremely dangerous if left unattended. Embracing and understanding these emotions not only enriches our lives but also allows us to navigate the depths of our souls and emerge stronger and wiser on the other side.
As we embrace pain, there however comes a time when transmutation is required. When we actively choose pain as our fuel toward growth, it is important to ensure that its cyclical nature is stopped otherwise we would crash and burn quickly or we would morph into inflictors of pain, the very thing we swore to destroy. Pain can be a necessary ingredient to start, but not imperative for the completion of the journey. To break free from this cycle, we must transmute the pain into something greater and more constructive. This involves transforming the energy of pain into our creative energies, resilience, wisdom, and compassion. Ultimately, we channel our suffering towards self-mastery and self-realization.
Navigating life's unpredictability, we must remember that pain is not a punishment but an opportunity. An opportunity to take responsibility for our souls. It forces us to confront our vulnerabilities and learn from our experiences. Dancing on life's edges, we should embrace both the joy and the pain, for each moment is a chance to rewrite your story. Let the canvas of life be painted with the vibrant colors of great emotion, and may your journey be guided by the wisdom that pain, when acknowledged and used wisely, can be an agent of positive transformation.
Love,
Hum.
This is a very insightful piece.